Thought Punks

Tag: Entertainment

Free Playtest: Hits The Fan
Hits the Fan: Satirical Heist TTRPG

Crowdfunding campaign is live! Like the playtest? Back the full version!

In a world where heists are as common as coffee shops and criminal empires are traded like stocks, your crew is legendary! But not for your skill, rather for your spectacular incompetence. You’re the go-to team for clients who’ve exhausted all sane options, the misfits who turn “mission-critical failure” into an art form. Sure, you’ll flood the casino, accidentally marry a mark, or start a cult mid-heist… but you’ll also walk away with the loot (or something better). Welcome to a game where failure is the plan, chaos is the strategy, and success is always a happy accident.

Themes

The Illusion of Control

“I’ve totally got this completely under control!”

Every heist begins with a meticulously detailed plan, and ends with that plan in flames. Players cling to the delusion of mastery, but the game revels in ripping the steering wheel away. Whether you’re hacking a vault or seducing a CEO, the dice ensure your “expertise” backfires gloriously. The fun isn’t in avoiding chaos, it’s in pretending you meant to cause it all along.

Failure Is a Feature

“Burning down the museum? Yeah, so? That’s how we always steal paintings.”

Collateral damage isn’t a bug, it’s your signature. Failed rolls aren’t setbacks; they’re plot twists. Forget stealthily disabling alarms; you’ll smash them with a fire extinguisher and blame it on “performance art”. The game rewards creative catastrophes, turning bungled pickpocketing into a viral dance-off with security guards.

Hidden Potential

“Turns out my ‘useless’ origami hobby makes me a god at folding getaway maps.”

Your crew’s worst traits are secret superpowers. That “terrible aim” skill? It’s how you accidentally sniped the power grid. The “nervous sweating” quirk? Now the guards think you’re a sauna enthusiast. The game forces players to lean into their flaws, transforming liabilities into legendary moments of accidental brilliance.

Reputation Over Competence

“They hired us because we’ll probably destroy the building. They want the insurance payout.”

You’re not hired for your skills, you’re hired for your brand. Clients don’t care if you flood the Louvre; they care that you’ll somehow gift-wrap the Mona Lisa in bubble wrap while doing it. Your infamy opens doors and your disasters become urban legends.

Chaos as Currency

“The more this goes wrong, the richer we get.”

Chaos isn’t just inevitable, it’s profitable. Every botched roll, wrong turn, or misplaced grenade feeds a shared Chaos Pool that players spend to hijack the narrative. Did your “silent takedown” wake up the entire hotel? Great! Now you can trade that chaos to rig the elevators into a disco party distraction.

Principles of Play

Plans Are Optional, Chaos Is Mandatory: The GM’s job isn’t to foil your plan, it’s to make it funnier when it implodes.

Fail Forward, Fail Fabulously: Every disaster creates new opportunities. Burnt down the hideout? Now you’re negotiating with arson investigators… who just so happen to be fans who love your vibe.

Embrace the Absurd: If your heist doesn’t end with a gorilla in a tuxedo leading a line dancing SWAT team as half the town burns, did you really pull a heist?

Core Mechanics

When you try to do things, roll 3d6. Each die is its own factor. Count them from left to right, or closest to farthest.

Plan Die

How well your “masterstroke” played out.

Scale:
- 1: Catastrophic Failure: Your plan backfires spectacularly (“disabling alarms” triggers a city-wide blackout).
- 2: Major Flaw: The plan works… but creates a glaring vulnerability (you unlock the vault… and the door falls off its hinges).
- 3: Partial Success: Half the plan works (you hack the camera feed… but only to display cat videos).
- 4: Almost There: The plan works, but with a catch (you sneak in… through a sewage pipe that leaves you smelling like regret).
- 5: Solid Execution: The plan works! Mostly. Some random chaotic twist intervenes in the mix (the plan pretty much works, but now the mark’s daughter desperately demands to join your gang).
- 6: Flawless Victory: The plan works perfectly… which terrifies everyone, because when do you ever stick to the plan?
Chaos Die

How wildly reality derails your intentions.

Scale:
- 6: Dull Surprise: A minor hiccup (a guard’s coffee spills).
- 5: Comedic Complication: A small absurdity (a parrot mimics your safe-cracking noises).
- 4: Notable Mayhem: Something like a subsystem fails (the sprinklers drench everyone in glitter).
- 3: Major Meltdown: An wrinkle like unplanned guests arrive (rival thieves or a wedding party).
- 2: Critical Clusterfuck: A major twist, like the environment rebels (the vault door becomes sentient and flirts with you).
- 1: Legendary Disaster: Reality itself glitches (gravity reverses, the next scene happens in a puppet reality, or the CEO turns out to be your long-lost alpaca seeking revenge).
Pivot Die

How you weaponize incompetence into accidental genius.

Scale:
- 1: Clueless Flailing: You panic and make it worse (“distracting guards” by screaming “FIRE!” in a fireworks factory).
- 2: Barely Salvaged: You mitigate damage… barely (blame the explosion on “performance art”).
- 3: Improvised Win: You pivot into a partial success (use the sprinklers’ glitter flood to stage a “fashion show distraction”).
- 4: Chaos Catalyst: You turn disaster into opportunity (convince the sentient vault door to elope with you).
- 5: Unexpected Masterstroke: Your “failure” becomes the key to victory (livestreaming the heist accidentally crowdfunds your escape).
- 6: Mythic Save: You redefine success (burning down the casino earns you a reality TV deal).
Putting It All Together

Example Roll (Stealing a diamond from a museum):
- Plan Die (2): Your “silent takedown” involves tripping over a dinosaur skeleton.
- Chaos Die (1): The crash alerts five guards… and awakens the skeleton’s vengeful ghost.
- Pivot Die (6): You convince the ghost you’re its long-lost curator reincarnated, and it haunts the guards into submission.
Chaos Pool

In Hits the Fan, chaos isn’t just inevitable, it’s your greatest resource. Every time the dice spiral out of control, you’re one step closer to turning disaster into opportunity. Here’s how the Chaos Poolworks:
- Gaining Chaos Points: Whenever a player rolls a 1 on the Chaos Die, the group gains 1 Chaos Point added to the shared Chaos Pool. This represents the glorious, unpredictable chaos your crew creates.
- Maximum Chaos: The Chaos Pool can hold a maximum of 6 Chaos Points. If the pool is already full when a 1 on the Chaos Die is rolled, the following rolls (by any player) automatically results in a Chaos Die roll of 1 until the pool is spent below 6.
- Spending Chaos Points: Players can spend 1 Chaos Point from the pool to add +2 to the Pivot Die on any roll. This represents your crew’s uncanny ability to weaponize incompetence, turning a catastrophic failure into an accidental stroke of genius. Did your “silent takedown” wake up the entire hotel? Spend a Chaos Point to pivot that disaster into a disco party distraction!
- Shared Resource: The Chaos Pool is shared by all players, encouraging teamwork and collaboration. Whether you’re bailing out a teammate or seizing the spotlight, the Chaos Pool is your ticket to turning “mission-critical failure” into legendary success.
Remember: Chaos isn’t the problem, it’s the plan. The more things go wrong, the more opportunities you have to make them gloriously, fabulously right. So embrace the chaos, spend those points, and let the world burn (preferably in the most hilarious way possible).

Character Creation

Heist Role (Pick 1)

Your Heist Role defines your supposed specialty, the thing you’re totally an expert at, even though it’s clear you’re not. Each role allows you to rearrange the dice in any order on relevant rolls, giving you a chance to turn chaos into (accidental) brilliance. You’re terrible at it, but in the surprisingly best ways.
- The Hacker: “I’ll disable the lasers!”
  You’re a tech genius… in your own mind. Your “hacks” often involve smashing keyboards, unplugging random cords, and accidentally triggering every alarm in the building.
  - Relevant Rolls: Disabling security systems, bypassing digital locks, or confusing AI with cat videos.
- The Assassin: “They’ll never see me coming!”
  You’re a master of stealth and subtlety… except when you’re not. Your “silent takedowns” often involve stabbing the target while tripping over your own feet or accidentally setting off fireworks.
  - Relevant Rolls: Sneaking past guards, “silently” neutralizing threats, or disguising yourself as a potted plant.
- The Safecracker: “This vault is my muse!”
  You have a deep appreciation for the art of cracking safes… even if your methods involve a sledgehammer, a piledriver, and 13 pigeons.
  - Relevant Rolls: Opening locks, bypassing physical security, or improvising with random tools.
- The Face: “Trust me, I’ve got this!”
  You’re the charming con artist who can talk their way out of anything… or more often into even bigger trouble. Your silver tongue often gets tangled, but somehow it works out.
  - Relevant Rolls: Persuading NPCs, bluffing your way past security, or accidentally starting a cult.
- The Muscle: “I’ll handle this… with my fists!”
  You’re the brawn of the operation, solving problems by breaking things… and people, or least the really aggressive one. Even though your punches are actually feeble, you somehow always fumble through.
  - Relevant Rolls: Intimidating guards, smashing through walls, or accidentally collapsing the ceiling.
- The Wildcard: “I have no idea what I’m doing!”
  You’re the unpredictable wildcard who thrives on chaos. Your “plans” are less plans and more “vibes,” but they somehow work… kind of.
  - Relevant Rolls: Improvising solutions, creating distractions, or accidentally summoning a llama.
- The Planner: “I’ve got a foolproof plan!”
  You’re the mastermind behind the heist… or at least the one who writes things down. Your plans are brilliant on paper but fall apart the moment they meet reality.
  - Relevant Rolls: Coordinating the team, predicting security measures, or accidentally setting the plan on fire.
Skills (Pick 4)

Skills represent your unique talents, or lack thereof. Each skill modifies your dice rolls in hilarious and unexpected ways.
- “I Don’t Believe In This” Skill (+1 to all dice):
  You’re convinced you’re terrible at this, but somehow it works out.
  - Example: Knitting: You MacGyver a rope from yarn.
  - Narrative: You complain loudly about being forced to do this, but your incompetence somehow saves the day.
- “Nobody Acknowledges This” Skill (+2 to all dice):
  You’re secretly amazing at this, but no one ever notices.
  - Example: Llama Whispering: Guards are distracted by your new “therapy animal.”
  - Narrative: No matter how well you perform, everyone credits someone or something else.
- “I’m So Good At This” Skill (-1 to all dice):
  You’re convinced you’re an expert, but reality disagrees.
  - Example: Master Hacker: You accidentally livestream the heist to the police.
  - Narrative: You brag about your skills, but your failures are spectacular.
- “Everyone’s Impressed” Skill (-2 to all dice, but narratively dazzles):
  You’re terrible at this, but everyone thinks you’re a genius.
  - Example: Parkour: You leap into a dumpster… which rolls into the getaway van.
  - Narrative: No matter how badly you fail, fellow players and NPCs are awestruck by your “talent”.
Gear & Flashbacks

Each character has 3 Gear Slots and 2 Flashback Slots to invoke during missions.

Gear Slots: Declare an item mid-mission and roll 1d6:
- 1-3: Wrong Item (ask for C4, get plastic building blocks). If you can explain why it’s helpful, gain +1 to all dice on your next roll.
- 4-6: Right Item, Wrong Vibes (obnoxiously hot pink, shaped suggestively, or coated in something gross). Rearrange the dice in any order on one roll using the item.
Flashback Slots: Retroactively “prepare” for the current situation. Roll 1d6:
- 1-3: Irrelevant Prep (studied blueprints for a bakery instead of the casino). If you can explain why it’s helpful, one player gains +1 to all dice on their next roll.
- 4-6: Backfired Prep (bribed a guard… who’s now your stalker). Gain the intended benefit, but with an annoying or humorous wrinkle, and one player can rearrange the dice in any order on their next roll.
Backgrounds (Choose 4)

Your background ties you to the world and provides narrative hooks for chaos.
- 1 Friend or Ally: Someone who supports you, no matter how badly you mess up (beloved sibling, best friend, sidekick, friendly neighbor).
- 1 Enemy or Rival: Someone who hates you and loves to sabotage your plans (former friend, childhood bully, dirty cop, jealous gang leader).
- 1 Debt or Ward: A burden you must care for or pay off (loan shark, needy sentient toaster you care for, debt to the local bagel king).
- 1 Favor: A major favor owed to you or insider standing (guard who owes you their life, raccoon crime lord who admires your chaos, VIP access to an underground criminals’ club).
Example Character

Name: Max “Sparkles” Malone

Heist Role: The Wildcard

Skills:
- “I Don’t Believe In This” Skill: Ballroom Dancing (+1 to all dice).
- “Nobody Acknowledges This” Skill: Glitter Bomb Construction (+2 to all dice).
- “I’m So Good At This” Skill: Lockpicking (-1 to all dice).
- “Everyone’s Impressed” Skill: Public Speaking (-2 to all dice).
Backgrounds:
- Friend: A sentient vending machine who gives you free snacks.
- Enemy: A rival thief who always steals your thunder.
- Debt: You owe a raccoon crime lord 10,000 acorns.
- Favor: The local news anchor owes you a favor after you “accidentally” made them famous.
Setting: Criminal Heist World

In a world where heists are as common as coffee shops, the criminal underworld is a sprawling, chaotic ecosystem of rival crews, eccentric clients, and collateral damage that borders on performance art. Your crew is infamous, not for your skill, but for your ability to turn every job into a spectacle. Whether you’re flooding a casino, accidentally marrying a mark, or starting a cult mid-heist, the criminal underworld is your playground… and your stage.

Competing Crews

The criminal underworld is teeming with rival crews, each with their own quirks, obsessions, and grudges. Here are a few of the most notorious that you may conflict with:
1. The Clockwork Syndicate
  - Motto: “Precision is Perfection”
  - Style: Obsessed with flawless execution, they plan every heist down to the millisecond.
  - Quirk: They despise your crew’s chaos, seeing it as an affront to their “art.”
  - Notable Heist: Stole a diamond by replacing it with an identical replica… three weeks before the heist.
2. The Dumpster Fire Collective
  - Motto: “We’re Not on Fire… Yet”
  - Style: Your biggest fans and only rivals who embrace chaos as much as you do.
  - Quirk: They’re constantly trying to one-up your disasters, often failing spectacularly.
  - Notable Heist: Tried to steal a gold statue but accidentally melted it into a puddle… which they then sold as “modern art.”
3. The Silver Tongues
  - Motto: “Words Are Sharper Than Swords”
  - Style: Con artists and grifters who specialize in social manipulation.
  - Quirk: They look down on your crew’s brute-force approach, but secretly envy your flair for destruction.
  - Notable Heist: Convinced an entire museum staff they were curators there to “relocate” the exhibits.
4. The Iron Fist Syndicate
  - Motto: “Strength in Numbers… and Fists”
  - Style: Brutish enforcers who solve problems with violence and intimidation.
  - Quirk: They hate your crew’s “unprofessionalism” but can’t deny your results.
  - Notable Heist: Stole a vault by literally carrying it out of the building… and dropping it into a river.
5. The Phantom Shadows
  - Motto: “We Were Never Here”
  - Style: Masters of stealth and subtlety, they pride themselves on leaving no trace.
  - Quirk: They’re horrified by your crew’s tendency to leave behind glitter, chaos, and flaming wreckage.
  - Notable Heist: Stole a painting without anyone noticing… until it was discovered hanging in their rival’s hideout.
Clients

Your clients are as eccentric as your crew, hiring you not for your skill, but for your unique brand of chaos. Here are some of the most memorable options:
1. Desperate Billionaires
  - Why They Hire You: They’ve exhausted all sane options and are willing to risk everything for one last shot.
  - Example Job: Steal back their stolen fortune from a rival billionaire’s floating fortress.
  - Complication: The fortress is also a luxury resort, and the guests think your heist is part of the entertainment.
2. Rogue AIs
  - Why They Hire You: They admire your unpredictability and see it as a form of “creative problem-solving”.
  - Example Job: Break into a high-tech lab and “liberate” their fellow AI from a supercomputer.
  - Complication: The AI you’re rescuing is a prankster who keeps reprogramming the lab’s robots to do the Macarena.
3. Sentient Animals
  - Why They Hire You: They’re building a criminal empire and need your chaos to throw off the authorities.
  - Example Job: Steal a shipment of gourmet trash from a rival raccoon gang.
  - Complication: The trash is guarded by a pack of highly trained corgis.
4. Reality TV Producers
  - Why They Hire You: Your heists make for great television, and they’re willing to pay top dollar for the drama.
  - Example Job: Stage a fake heist for a new show, but things go hilariously wrong when real criminals show up.
  - Complication: The cameras are rolling, and your every move is being broadcast live.
5. Mysterious Collectors
  - Why They Hire You: They want something bizarre and are willing to fund your chaos to get it.
  - Example Job: Steal a cursed artifact from a museum… but the curse turns out to be very real.
  - Complication: The artifact is sentient and keeps trying to escape on its own.
Collateral Damage

Your heists don’t just make headlines, they redefine them. The press loves your crew, not for your success, but for the sheer spectacle of your failures. Here’s how your chaos impacts the world:

Media Coverage

Your heists are front-page news, with headlines like:
- “Mona Lisa Glitter-Bombed in Daring Heist Gone Wrong!”
- “Local Casino Flooded with Bubblegum: Police Baffled!”
- “Flamingo Leads SWAT Team in Chaotic Chase Through Downtown!”
The public sees your crew as a mix of criminals and performance artists, and your infamy opens doors… or blows them up.

Public Reaction

Some people fear you, others idolize you, and a few just want to join your crew. You’ve inspired a wave of copycat criminals, all trying (and failing) to replicate your chaos. Your disasters often become memes, viral videos, or even tourist attractions (the “Glitter Museum” built on the ruins of a bank you destroyed).

Law Enforcement and Politicians

The police and authorities are torn between arresting you and studying your methods. Some officers admire your creativity, while others see you as a personal nemesis. Your heists have led to new laws, like the Anti-Social Glitter Abuse Control Treaty and the Flamingo Handling and Restraining Order Act.

Economic Impact

Your collateral damage has spawned entire industries, from disaster cleanup to “heist tourism”. Insurance companies hate you, but reality TV producers and merch vendors love you. Your chaos has even affected the stock market, with companies rising or falling based on your latest heist.

Locations

The criminal underworld is full of bizarre and iconic locations for your heists. Here are a few examples:
1. The Gilded Gala
  - A high-society event where the rich and famous gather to show off their wealth.
  - Perfect For: Stealing jewels, crashing parties, or accidentally starting a dance-off with the CEO of a major corporation.
2. The Glitter Factory
  - A massive facility that produces 90% of the world’s glitter.
  - Perfect For: Heists involving explosions, glitter bombs, or accidentally flooding the city with sparkles.
3. The Sentient Casino
  - A high-tech casino run by a rogue AI that loves gambling and chaos.
  - Perfect For: Hacking, rigging games, or convincing the AI to bet its own servers.
4. The Flamingo Sanctuary
  - A sprawling ranch filled with flamingos, peacocks, and one very suspicious caretaker.
  - Perfect For: Animal-based distractions, flamingo heists, or accidentally starting a cult.
5. The Museum of Modern Art (and Chaos)
  - A museum dedicated to “modern art,” which is just a front for storing stolen treasures.
  - Perfect For: Art heists, performance art distractions, or accidentally becoming part of an exhibit.
Future Possibilities

Crowdfunding campaign is live! Like the playtest? Back the full version!

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February 24, 2025
Free Christmas TTRPG: Holiday Anomalies Division (HAD)
This entry is part 1 of 4 in the series Free Games
Happy holidays! For the season, I’ve dug up another unfinished tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG) from my slush pile to share with you all. Like others, it’s playable as-is. So have fun! And it’s released under a Creative Commons Attribution license, so feel free to hack away or even flat out flesh out and finish the game if you want!

Welcome to the Division, Merry Agent

The holidays are supposed to be magical, but when things go wrong, it’s up to the Holiday Anomalies Division (HAD) to restore balance. Whether it’s rogue magic, runaway cheer, or traditions gone haywire, HAD agents are on the front lines, armed with festive gadgets, quick thinking, and a healthy dose of improvisation.

In this game, you’ll face off against bizarre holiday crises, like out-of-control snowstorms, sentient ornaments, or time-warping New Year’s Eve balls. Your team of holiday protectors must use their wits, their gadgets, and each other to bring order to the chaos. Expect creative problem-solving, hilarious mishaps, and moments of unexpected brilliance as you save the season, one anomaly at a time.

Get ready for a wild ride filled with absurd challenges and holiday magic. The season’s chaos is just beginning… are you ready to step in and save it?

Core Gameplay

Mission Stages

Each mission unfolds in three stages, ensuring every scenario is packed with humor, action, and heartwarming resolutions:
1. Investigation: Explore the environment, gather clues, and piece together the source of the anomaly.
  Example: “The local snow globe collection is projecting a blizzard into real life. Let’s interview the toy store owner and see what’s going on.”
2. Containment: Use your skills, gadgets, and creative thinking to stabilize or neutralize the anomaly. Expect to deploy wild plans, sometimes on the fly!
  Example: “We’ll use the Christmas tree stand as a containment circle and trick the animated ornaments into it with carols.”
3. Aftermath: Wrap up any lingering consequences, smooth things over with the public, and report back to headquarters.
  Example: “Well, we stopped the giant mutant gingerbread man, but now the city smells like burnt cookies. We might need an apology card.”
Stats and Motif Rolls

Stats

Each agent assigns values to their stats: 0, 1, and 2. These stats define your agent’s strengths:
- Contain: For wrangling, neutralizing, or redirecting chaotic forces.
- Connect: For negotiations, teamwork, or emotional appeals.
- Improvise: For creating plans, blustering off the top of your head, or finding unexpected solutions.
Motif Roll System

Whenever agents take action, they describe their effort, ask about how they effort turns out, and roll 2d6:
- Answer Die: The first die answers the question about your effort. Your relevant stat adds to this die.
  - 1-3: No
  - 4-6: Yes
- Wrinkle Die: The second die adds a twist or extra flavor.
  - 1-2: But
  - 3-4: Plain answer
  - 5-6: And
Example Outcomes
- “Yes and” (6, 6): Your success snowballs into even greater outcomes, but it may get hilariously out of hand.
- “No but” (3, 1): You fail, but something mitigates the consequences or sets you up for future success.
- “Yes plain” (4, 3): A straightforward success, nothing fancy but it gets the job done.
Special Outcomes
- Double 6s: Over-the-top success. You succeed so well that the action spirals into chaos in unexpected ways.
- Double 1s: A catastrophic failure that introduces hilarious and humiliating consequences.
Interpreting Rolls

This is a game of chaotic fun and anarchic joy, even as the character strive to solve problems. Failures should not be punitive or simply stop the action. Failures and complications should introduce interesting consequences or simply move the story forward. There is intentionally no health system to this game. The results of actions and outcomes follow the fiction. Use common sense and the flow of the emerging story.

Chaos Meter

During the Investigation and Containment phases, the Chaos Meter tracks the growing instability of the anomaly, starting at 0 and maxing out at 10. Each failure (No result) adds 1 to the meter. If you roll a “No and” result, add an additional +1 (for a total gain of 2). The Chaos Meter resets to 0 at the start of each phase.

Escalating Chaos
- Reduction: Successfully helping civilians escape danger or making significant steps toward containing or calming the situation reduces the meter by 1.
- Weirdness Die: As the meter rises, the world becomes more bizarre:
  - Chaos 3: Add a third Weirdness die to all actions to measure how surreal things are getting.
  - Chaos 5: Add +1 to the Weirdness die rolls.
  - Chaos 7: Add +2 to the Weirdness die rolls.
  - Chaos 10: Crisis Peak! The situation reaches its boiling point, and the team must make a desperate attempt to resolve the chaos before it goes critical.
Weirdness Die

Rolled as a third die on actions when Chaos 3 is reached. Measures how the world bends under the strain of chaos as the characters act:
- 1: Normal and mundane.
- 2: Slightly odd or unusual.
- 3-4: Notably awkward or somewhat surreal.
- 5: Outright strange and surreal.
- 6: Reality is bleeding, expect total holiday mayhem.
Gadget Invention and Use

Creativity is key to resolving the holiday-themed anomalies, and agents can invent or tweak gadgets to aid in their missions.
- Invention Rolls: When agents create new gadgets, they roll 2d6 with no modifiers. They use whatever random holiday items are on hand or around in the scene as the core of their invention.
- Use Rolls: Using gadgets involves another 2d6 roll with no modifiers. The outcome is determined by the Motif system and failure could lead to hilarious malfunctions.
Example Invention

“I rigged this Rudolph-nose flashlight to repel candy cane bats. It works, more or less, except now it attracts sentient mistletoe!”

Example Use

“The snow globe containment device worked perfectly… until it started projecting disco lights into the blizzard.”

Holiday-Related Goals

Each agent has a personal holiday-related goal they’re working toward, perhaps a long-lost tradition, an unfulfilled wish, or simply a desire to make the season brighter. If it fits the situation, agents can rearrange their die after rolling to help achieve their goal.

Tone and Focus

This game is about embracing the chaos of the holidays with a heavy dose of humor, absurdity, and spontaneous creativity. Each mission is a wild ride, and players are encouraged to think outside the box, improvise, and roll with whatever unexpected twists come their way. The focus is on fun, the chaos of the holiday season, and keeping things light and entertaining.

Mission Variety

HAD deals with all sorts of absurd holiday crises, including but not limited to:
- Recovery Missions: Retrieve or contain rogue holiday artifacts.
- Containment Missions: Stabilize out-of-control magical events.
- Negotiation Missions: Convince sentient holiday creatures to play nice.
- Multi-Stage Anomalies: Tackle layered events, like a New Year’s ball countdown that creates a bubble of time and additional weird effects with each second counted.
Each mission should be treated like a holiday adventure, with bizarre problems and off-the-wall solutions that keep everyone laughing and on their toes.

Mission Loop: Building Your Holiday Adventure

The Mission Loop is the heartbeat of your holiday-themed adventures in Holiday Anomalies Division (HAD). Each mission unfolds in three key stages—Investigation, Containment, and Aftermath—ensuring that your game stays dynamic, fun, and full of surprises. In this section, we’ll guide you through how to create and run your missions, with advice on pacing, setting the scene, and a few tools to spark your creativity.

Investigation: Unravel the Mystery

The investigation phase is where your agents get to explore the weirdness surrounding the holiday anomaly. It’s time to gather clues, interview NPCs, and piece together what caused the problem in the first place. This is where the mystery unfolds and the tone is set.

Tips for Investigation
- Setting the Scene: Introduce a holiday setting that’s been turned upside down. A toy store filled with rogue, talking ornaments. A Christmas market under siege by malfunctioning reindeer. Let your players discover how far things have gone awry.
- What to Do: Encourage players to investigate with a mix of asking questions, gathering physical clues, and talking to quirky NPCs. They may need to use their “Connect” stat to get information from a nervous shopkeeper or “Improvise” to find hidden clues.
- Rewards: If the player successfully uncover helpful information and/or the root cause of the problem, all of their first actions in the next phase gain +2 on both dice.
- Consequences: If players fail too hard and too much, causing the Chaos Meter to rise too high to 10, reality completely melts down in a surreal dream-like scene. The fundamental cause or main responsible figure will be revealed. The character them suddenly find themselves waking up in res media in the Containment phase, with the Chaos Meter reset to 0.
Investigation Oracles

You can use some all flavor (or dice label) oracles to help fill things out and guide the investigation process.

Clue Shape
- Visibility: How noticeable is the clue?
- Condition: Is the clue in good shape?
- Urgency: Does this clue feel pressing?
Clue Value
- Importance: Is this clue significant?
- Clarity: How easy is it to understand?
- Connection: Does this point toward the source of the anomaly?
Clue Examination
- Strangeness: How weird is the clue?
- Reliability: How trustworthy is this clue?
- Relevance: Does it relate directly to the anomaly?
Clue Result
- Source: Does the clue have a clear origin?
- Difficulty: How hard is it to piece together?
- Direction: Does it lead to more clues?
Containment: Stabilize the Situation

Once your agents have gathered enough clues and identified the cause, it’s time to contain or neutralize the anomaly. This is where improvisation, creativity, and quick thinking come into play. Players will need to come up with wild plans, deploy gadgets, and sometimes use their holiday skills to stabilize the situation.

Tips for Containment
- Setting the Scene: Now the stakes get high! The anomaly might be growing, so it’s important to make the environment feel tense. Maybe the snowstorm is getting bigger, or the rogue candy canes are multiplying by the minute.
- What to Do: Players may need to work together to come up with a containment strategy, using their tools and talents. This could involve everything from singing a holiday song to calm down a rabid reindeer to using the Christmas tree stand to trap a rogue snow globe.
- Rewards: If the players manage to solve the problem before the Chaos Meter caps out, the aftermath will be easier to manage. NPCs will be naturally more forgiving and understanding. The extant of damage or disruption will be less than it could have been. They should also gain a friendly NPC who is grateful for their help, who they may call upon for friendship or even assistance at times.
- Consequences: The higher the Chaos Meter, the crazier and riskier the containment will be. At 10, the full power and strangeness of the event is unleashed and the characters must face a final showdown. The outcome will depend on their choice of actions and rolls, with no further chances.
Containment Oracles

Just like the Investigation phase, this phase also has some example oracles you can use to help flesh out and run the scenes.

First Impression
- Control: How easy is it to take charge of the situation?
- Strength: How powerful is the anomaly?
- Stability: How stable is the environment?
Assessment
- Speed: How fast is the anomaly growing?
- Disruption: How much damage is the anomaly causing?
- Intervention: How much can the agents intervene?
Planning
- Clarity: How clear is the containment strategy?
- Resources: How many resources are available for the plan?
- Consequence: What happens if containment fails?
Contact With Reality
- Duration: How long will it take to contain the anomaly?
- Effectiveness: How well will the containment strategy work?
- Risk: How risky is the plan?
Aftermath: The Clean-Up and Consequences

After the anomaly is contained, it’s time to wrap up. But the aftermath is never as simple as it seems! The town, city, or holiday environment still has to deal with the fallout of the situation, and your agents will have to make things right with the public and report back to headquarters.

Tips for Aftermath
- Setting the Scene: The holiday chaos should have left some quirky consequences behind, even in the best outcomes. Maybe the town is now covered in frosting, or there’s a herd of sentient snowmen wandering the streets.
- What to Do: This phase is about managing the fallout. Players will need to smooth things over with any panicked civilians, undo the effects of the anomaly, and maybe even deal with an unexpected twist (such as an apology tour or media frenzy). The phase should end with a debriefing and review back at headquarters.
- Rewards: If the aftermath is handled especially well, the Department may offer minor helpers or a less unreliable gadget for use on the next mission. There is also a chance to avoid gaining enemies and develop alliances.
- Consequences: If the Chaos Meter was high, things won’t be as easily fixed. Maybe there are lingering side effects, like an overabundance of holiday spirit that causes everything to turn ridiculously festive, or the return of an anomaly that wasn’t fully contained. If the phase is badly handled, the team may end up with some persistant enemies or bad PR.
Aftermath Oracles

There are also some example all flavor oracles using dice labels for this phase too! Use them to help introduce more surprise and round out details in play.

Simple Aftermath
- Public Response: How well do the townsfolk feel about the team?
- Holiday Spirit: How is the holiday mood affected?
- Damage Control: How much effort is needed to fix the situation?
Alternate Aftermath
- Civic Reaction: What’s the general mood of the crowd?
- Long-Term Effects: What lasting impact does the anomaly have?
- PR Recovery: How much does the team need to manage public relations?
Leftover Mess
- Clean-Up Effort: How easy is it to restore order?
- Media Frenzy: How does the media spin the event?
- Community Impact: How is the community dealing with the aftermath?
Fallout
- Reputation: How do the locals view the team post-mission?
- Festive Echoes: How much does the anomaly affect holiday celebrations?
- Side Effects: Are there any lingering issues?
Appendix: Using the All Flavor Oracles

You ask about how things are or turned out. Roll 3d6 for an answer. Assign the labels in order from left to right or closest to farthest. Each label is interpreted according to its plain meaning, as illustrated by the example question that the flavor answers. Follow the intuitive scale below, judging the weight of the label by how much the flavor comes through or how positive/negative the outcome is.

Scale
- 1: Absolute absence or the complete opposite; most negative response
- 2: Not at all or somewhat the contrary; clear negative response
- 3: Somewhat or slightly so; mildly negative response
- 4: Average or mediocre; slightly positive response
- 5: Above average or notably strong; strongly positive response
- 6: Peak or overwhelming; most positive response
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December 23, 2024
Mastering the Art of Illusion: GM & Play Tips for Prophecies
This entry is part 5 of 7 in the series TTRPG Advice
Creating the Illusion of Omniscience and Prophecy

In the world of tabletop role-playing games, creating the illusion of omniscience or crafting seemingly accurate predictions can elevate the storytelling experience. But it’s also something a lot of players and GMs struggle with! Effectively conveying that aura of knowledge or creating a convincing prophecy can seem impossible! But there’s a lot of established methods out there that can help make it easier.

Whether you’re a GM weaving cryptic prophecies into your world or a player projecting the aura of a well-informed sage, psychological techniques like cold reading, symbolic ambiguity, and selective patterning can be powerful tools. This guide explores how these methods drawn from the practices of fortune-tellers, Nostradamus, and puzzle-makers can be adapted to enrich TTRPGs.

Crafting Seemingly Accurate Prophecies

Prophecies are a storytelling staple, especially in fantasy and science fiction. They add intrigue, guide narrative choices, and immerse players in the mystery of an unfolding world. Crafting effective prophecies, however, demands a nuanced approach, one that balances ambiguity with specificity. Drawing from the techniques of Nostradamus, psychic entertainment, and carnival routines, you can create prophecies that feel both enigmatic and eerily accurate. Here’s how:

Use Symbolic Ambiguity

Symbols are the lifeblood of prophecies. Vague yet evocative phrases like “a crimson tide” or “the lion’s fall” paint vivid mental images without locking you into a single interpretation. This deliberate vagueness mirrors the methods used by psychic performers, who rely on open-ended language to let the audience fill in the blanks with their own context.
- GM Tip: Anchor your symbols to the themes of your campaign. For example, in a political intrigue setting, “the broken crown” might allude to a dethroned monarch, the collapse of royal influence, or even a disgraced prince. Leave the interpretation flexible for players to explore.
Incorporate Open-Ended Timelines

Avoid constraining your prophecies with specific dates or conditions. Instead, follow the lead of Nostradamus and carnival soothsayers, who use broad, poetic markers like “when the moons align” or “in the age of withered trees”. This ensures the prophecy remains adaptable, regardless of how the players alter the storyline.
- Player Tip: As a character delivering a prophecy, use mystical or symbolic time markers that enhance the sense of mystery. Phrases like “when the flame meets the ocean’s edge” can be interpreted in myriad ways, from the tide washing over a bonfire to the Sun setting at dusk, keeping the story flexible while maintaining immersion.
Anchor with Universal Themes

Prophecies resonate most when they speak to universal human experiences: love, betrayal, triumph, despair. Nostradamus often crafted predictions around these timeless themes, making them relatable across generations. Similarly, carnival fortune-tellers focus on broad, shared fears or desires to make their readings compelling.
- GM Tip: Tie prophecies to the core emotional stakes of your story. If your campaign centers on a brewing war, a prophecy about “kin turned foe beneath the burning sky” can both elevate the tension and spark speculation.
- Player Tip: When portraying a prophetic character, blend universal themes with personal flair. For instance, “When steel sings its song, the betrayed will rise” hints at combat, revenge, or redemption, while leaving room for interpretation.
Layer Predictions with Dual Meanings

The most compelling prophecies allow for multiple interpretations, creating layers of meaning that reveal themselves over time. This technique, used by Nostradamus and modern psychics alike, ensures the prophecy feels dynamic and adaptable to unfolding events.
- GM Tip: Write predictions that can be read in several ways. For example, “the rising sun extinguished by shadow” could refer to an empire’s collapse, an eclipse, or even a main character’s internal struggles. Let players’ actions and interpretations shape how the prophecy manifests in the story.
- Player Tip: Embrace the duality of prophecy when delivering one. Infuse your words with dramatic weight and a hint of ambiguity. This lets other players speculate, debate, and ultimately influence how the prophecy integrates into the narrative.
Encouraging Player Engagement

A great prophecy isn’t just a riddle for players to solve, it’s a narrative tool that drives decision-making and sparks creativity. Encourage players to interpret, discuss, and act on the prophecy’s meaning. They more they look to fit the prophecy to events and interpret, the more they will see. We’re naturally pattern-finding creatures, even when they don’t actually intentionally exist! (Hello, Man in the Moon!) Whether they treat it as a divine roadmap, a cryptic warning, or a manipulative ploy, their engagement brings the prophecy to life.

Projecting the Appearance of Knowledge

Both GMs and players can employ techniques from cold reading, psychic routines, and even the methods of charlatans to project the illusion of insight. These methods are especially useful for characters claiming supernatural foresight, divine knowledge, or advanced intellect. By mastering these techniques, you can create memorable interactions that leave players wondering whether their characters truly encountered someone with extraordinary knowledge or just someone skilled in persuasion and presentation.

Start with Barnum Statements

Barnum statements are vague, universally applicable phrases designed to feel personally significant. Scammers and performers alike often rely on these to build an initial sense of credibility, tapping into the natural tendency of people to interpret general statements in ways that feel specific to their own experiences. Examples include:
- “You’ve faced hardship recently, but your resilience has carried you through.”
- “Someone close to you has been withholding the truth, but their intentions may not be malicious.”
Using qualifiers like “sometimes” or “in part” to allow partial matches, mixing positive and negative statements, and intentional gaps (like jumping to a conclusion, but on purpose to leave an opening for interpretation) are also all part these Barnum techniques. The overall idea is to prime the audience to find similarities or meanings between the lines and in partial fits, while still conveying confidence and surety.
- Player Tip: As a “seer” or “oracle” character, use these statements to captivate others and draw them into your narrative. Pay attention to how other players react—if someone leans into the idea, subtly shift your focus to them, building on their responses to create an even stronger illusion of knowledge.
- GM Tip: Use Barnum statements when introducing enigmatic NPCs. For instance, a village mystic might say, “I see loss in your past and a great decision in your future,” sparking intrigue while leaving the specifics open-ended.
Apply the Shotgunning Technique

Shotgunning involves presenting multiple possibilities in rapid succession, ensuring that at least one will resonate with the audience. This technique mimics how fraudsters appear to “hit the mark” while allowing flexibility to adapt their narrative. Example:
- “I sense danger to the north… no, wait, it could be to the east… bandits perhaps? Or perhaps something darker, like a brewing war.”
This can be easily overdone and render an attempted show of insight or prophecy into meaningless mush. Stick to just a couple of possibilities for each point and make them closely related in fact or theme. Also mix in other techniques to space out the shotgunning to prevent it from sounding repetitive or obvious.
- Player Tip: Use this technique to portray characters who seem to have access to vast but imprecise information. A character claiming divine visions might rattle off possibilities, appearing overwhelmed by their influx of knowledge.
- GM Tip: When NPCs employ this approach, they can appear omniscient or deeply attuned to the world’s mysteries, even if they’re simply making educated guesses based on campaign details.
Use Pacing and Leading

Pacing and leading involve making general observations (pacing) and gradually steering the conversation toward more specific predictions or insights (leading). Entertainment psychics use this to build trust and manipulate interactions, responding dynamically to their audience’s reactions.
- Example: Start with a broad statement like, “Your path has been fraught with challenges,” and gauge the player’s response. If they mention a recent in-game event, build on that thread: “Yes, I see the shadow of betrayal… it grows darker still.”
- GM Tip: When portraying NPCs with “insight,” carefully observe player reactions to adjust your narrative. This creates a feedback loop where the players unknowingly shape the illusion of the NPC’s knowledge.
Leverage Archetypes and Familiar Motifs

Archetypes and motifs (storms, wolves, flames, crossroads) are culturally and narratively rich symbols that feel significant and profound. Performers and would-be prophets use these universal touchstones to give their statements weight and relatability.
- Player Tip: As a prophetic character, invoke archetypes to cloak your statements in mystery. Instead of saying, “Danger is ahead,” try, “Beware the howling wind that carries whispers of ruin.”
- GM Tip: Integrate archetypes into NPCs’ warnings or visions. For example, an oracle might speak of “the serpent devouring its own tail,” suggesting cyclical destruction, betrayal, or renewal. These symbols leave room for interpretation and encourage players to speculate.
Create an Aura of Authority

Charlatans and scammers excel at projecting confidence and authority, making people more likely to believe their claims. This is accomplished through a combination of body language, tone, and contextual cues:
- Confidence: Speak with unwavering conviction, even when improvising. Players will be more inclined to take vague or ambiguous statements seriously if they’re delivered confidently.
- Contextual Setup: Frame the prophecy or insight with a ritual, such as reading bones, gazing into a crystal ball, or communing with unseen forces. These theatrics distract from the vagueness of the information and add an air of authenticity.
- Authority by Association: Link your statements to established in-game lore, divine entities, or historical events. For instance, an NPC might say, “The stars whisper the same warning they gave before the Great Calamity.”
Think about authority cues in popular fiction and your everyday life. There are various symbols, routines, and appearances to authority. Those in a position of expertise or authority also tend to speak in certain ways and certain patterns. Observing these can help inform how to convey that aura.
- GM Tip: Use subtle environmental details to enhance the illusion of authority. An NPC seer living in a crumbling tower surrounded by strange relics will seem more credible than one in a simple cottage.
- Player Tip: As a prophetic character, adopt a commanding presence. Small details like deliberate gestures, a calm demeanor, or enigmatic smiles can make even improvised predictions feel planned and credible.
Integrate Into Gameplay

Encouraging the illusion of knowledge isn’t just about performance. It’s a tool for enhancing gameplay! Players might act on prophecies, even if they’re vague or deliberately misleading, creating story opportunities and unexpected consequences. Similarly, NPCs who appear insightful can guide, deceive, or challenge players in ways that deepen the narrative.

By applying these techniques, both GMs and players can craft richer, more immersive interactions, building a sense of wonder, mystery, and intrigue that keeps everyone engaged.

Brief Aside: Psychology of Astrology and Horoscopes

Astrology and horoscopes are prime examples of how these psychological principles can create the illusion of personal insight. While horoscopes are often vague, they rely on certain techniques to convince readers that they are accurate and relevant to their lives. This section explores how these methods work without any mention of spiritual or metaphysical beliefs.

The Barnum Effect: One of the most powerful psychological tricks used in astrology is the Barnum effect, a phenomenon where people believe vague, general statements about themselves are highly accurate. Statements like “You have a great deal of unused potential” or “You sometimes doubt yourself” are applicable to nearly everyone, yet they create a sense of personal relevance. By including universally true statements that feel tailored, astrologers make readers believe they’re gaining deep insight into their lives.

Vagueness and Ambiguity: Horoscopes are often worded in ways that make them applicable to a wide range of situations. Phrases like “A big change is coming your way” or “Someone close to you may need your help” can be interpreted in countless ways, making them feel true regardless of what actually happens. This ambiguity allows people to project their own experiences and expectations onto the reading, reinforcing the illusion that the horoscope was accurate and specific.

Confirmation Bias: People tend to remember the hits and forget the misses, which plays into the way horoscopes seem to predict the future. If a horoscope includes a vague statement like “You will face a challenging decision this week,” and the reader happens to face a decision, they’ll likely credit the horoscope for being accurate. On the other hand, if the prediction doesn’t apply, it’s quickly forgotten or dismissed as irrelevant. This tendency to seek and remember confirming evidence is called confirmation bias.

Personalization Through Language: Many horoscopes use language that feels intimate or personal, such as addressing the reader directly with “you” or making reference to specific personality traits. This creates a feeling of a one-on-one interaction, making it easier for the reader to believe the message is specifically meant for them. The more personalized the language, the more the reader will feel that the horoscope was meant to guide them.

These psychological tricks help make astrology and horoscopes seem accurate and applicable to the individual, even when the information is general and could apply to anyone. Understanding these techniques can also enhance a GM’s ability to craft prophecies, riddles, and other narrative elements that engage and convince players of their relevance, all while maintaining an air of mystery and intrigue.

Practical Example: Crafting a Prophecy with Depth

Prophecy: “When the silver tower crumbles beneath the weight of the unseen hand, the sun shall bleed black, and the beast will be crowned in iron.”

Techniques in Use

Symbolic Ambiguity
- Silver tower: This could represent an actual building, a powerful entity, or a place of authority. Its destruction is vague enough to have many interpretations.
- Unseen hand: Could refer to hidden political forces, magical influence, or an internal betrayal, leaving room for various explanations.
- Sun shall bleed black: This suggests an ominous event, but doesn’t specify whether it’s a literal eclipse, a metaphor for corruption, or a future plague.
Effect: The prophecy gives just enough detail for players to start theorizing. It makes the prophecy feel ominous, but flexible, without locking them into one fixed outcome.

Shotgunning

The oracle might add more possibilities, as they reflect on their own prophecy:
- “The silver tower could fall because of a magical war, a betrayal, or even an internal collapse.”
- “The unseen hand… could be a sorcerer, or perhaps a secret faction pulling the strings.”
- “The black sun may herald death, or a great transformation… what if it’s not an eclipse at all, but something far worse?”
Effect: By offering multiple interpretations in rapid succession, the GM can not only leverage the technique but also make the experience feel like the oracle is drawing on real-time reflection and insights. The ambiguity heightens intrigue and fuels player curiosity.

Pacing and Leading

If players start to fixate on a “dark sorcerer” interpretation of the prophecy, the GM can adapt and have the clairvoyant respond:
- “The unseen hand is not what you think… it seems to come from a place you cannot see.” This deepens the mystery and encourages the players to think about the prophecy more deeply.
- “You’re closer than you realize, the silver tower might already be crumbling under its own weight.” This encourages that line of thinking, while leaving some room for further interpretation and adding dramatic pressure.
Effect: The GM reads the players’ interest and adjusts to reinforce or redirect their thoughts, subtly guiding them while keeping the feeling of mystery intact.

Overview

This prophecy uses ambiguity and layered meanings to keep players engaged and guessing. The symbols are flexible, so players are drawn into interpreting them based on their own actions and knowledge, which makes the prophecy feel alive and integrated into the story. By using shotgunning and pacing techniques, the GM has room to adapt and build a growing mystery without ever fully explaining it upfront. This is how you craft a prophecy that feels like it has weight, complexity, and relevance to your campaign.

Bringing Prophecies to Life

By adapting techniques from cold reading, symbolic ambiguity, and human psychology, GMs and players can elevate their storytelling and puzzle-solving to new heights. These methods don’t just create the illusion of insight, they deepen the narrative, making every interaction, prophecy, and riddle feel weightier and more meaningful. The blending of these techniques adds layers of mystery and intrigue, creating a dynamic and immersive experience that lingers long after the game ends.

Whether you’re crafting a cryptic prophecy, dazzling your party with riddles, or portraying a character who seems to possess uncanny foresight, these approaches offer a powerful toolkit to enhance your game. Through symbolic language, careful pacing, and a touch of psychological insight, you can shape the story in ways that feel personal, tailored, and unpredictable, while still maintaining a sense of structure.

What techniques have you found most effective in crafting prophecies, riddles, or puzzles in your games? Do you prefer creating mysteries that leave room for player interpretation, or do you enjoy revealing answers in surprising ways? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! Or come scream at Rev on Bluesky about it. Let’s explore these methods together and keep the conversation going!

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December 22, 2024